43: Chloe Kelly, England, Panini M&S Eat Well Play Well, Official England Sticker Collection 2026

The recent FIFA World Cup brought everything one could want from a major international tournament and, despite the best efforts of Gianni Infantino and Donald Trump, was not a month long MAGA rally with a bit of Shakira thrown in for good measure. At the time of writing the President of the United States has not declared all out nuclear war on Belgium for taking the piss out of his bizarre little dance during their dismantling of the hosts in the knockout stages and this was one of a decent handful of feel good moments. Debutants Cape Verde went through the group stages and pushed Argentina all the way in the second round. The big stars all turned up with Erling Haaland, Kylian Mbappe, Harry Kane and the world’s favourite tax evader all among the goals. We got to see all of Cristiano Ronaldo, Neymar and Luis Suarez cry which was even more impressive considering the latter was only watching from the stands. England saved their best performance for the third place playoff while the final was almost as painful to watch as Enzo Fernandez’s tackling, whinging or post match singing. In the end football was the winner and Messi completed the set of crying egomaniacs as Rodri lifted the trophy.

With unprecedented amounts of football on the telly we were also treated to a range of punditry and old and new phrases to add to an already rich lexicon. Ally McCoist was his usual excitable self on co-commentary with John Champion although he never reached his 2018 peak where every group game was littered with obscure nuggets of Russian history. The usually dreary Danny Murphy used a Norwegian winger as a jumping off point for a story about his disappearing cat while Olivier Giroud offered little insight but was preposterously handsome so who cares. Over on Fox the bombastic MAGA cheerleader Alexi Lalas was routinely shown up by the class of Thierry Henry although he also gained a few points for calling James Corden a wanker even if he didn’t know why that was funny. From their bizarre virtual studio in Salford the BBC’s Wayne Rooney appeared to suggest Belgium should “get up Spain’s arsehole” which opens lots of safeguarding questions but doesn’t explain why Joe Hart claimed the build up to England’s semi-final with Argentina was “giving [him] shingles”. Across the board, though, was the recurring theme of players putting in “clutch” performances. This distinctly Septic phrase, probably due to their fear of manual gearboxes, was applied to the likes of Jude Bellingham and Lionel Messi but first snuck in during the England Lionesses’ recent successes and particularly in relation to Chloe Kelly.

According to this sticker’s accompanying biography “some players are born for big moments” and there have been several in Kelly’s international career. She scored the winning goal in England’s 2022 European Championship final victory over Germany as well as the winning penalty in the 2023 Finalissima against Brazil. She repeated her shootout heroics in the Lionesses’ defeat of Nigeria in the 2023 World Cup with her penalty kick measured as being hit harder than any goal in the preceding men’s Premier League season. Kelly was then instrumental in England’s retention of the European Championship with another shootout penalty against Sweden, a last minute extra time winner against Italy (pouncing on the rebound from her saved spot kick) and the assist for Alessia Russo’s equaliser as well as the deciding penalty in the shootout victory over Spain. While the term itself is intensely irritating, especially when describing a late equaliser in a Tuesday night mid-table clash, it’s fair to say that Chloe Kelly has provided her country with a number of “clutch” performances. 

This is all the more impressive considering the topsy-turvy nature of her club career. Kelly came through the Arsenal youth system and made her senior debut, and scored her first goal, aged only seventeen in 2015. In her first three years as a professional she made as many appearances on loan at Everton as she did for her parent club and the move was made permanent in 2018. An injury hit first season on Merseyside was followed up by nine goals in eleven games in 2019/20 and she was snapped up by Manchester City. Her first season and half in Manchester reaped plenty of goals and assists before a knee injury ruled her out for the remainder of the 2021 campaign. While she returned to first team action, and enjoyed the first of her international successes, her game time became increasingly limited and she looked to engineer a move away in the build up to the 2025 European Championships stating that she “just want[ed] to be happy again”. Arsenal secured a deadline day loan deal and she helped the Gunners to Champions League victory over Barcelona ahead of her summer exploits with the Lionesses. Despite losing just one game during the 2025/26 domestic season Arsenal finished second to Manchester City in the Women’s Super League and fell at the semi-final stage of the Champions League but Kelly and her teammates did win the inaugural FIFA Women’s Championship Cup with victory over Corinthians at the Emirates.

It’s probably a sign of my increasingly rapid ageing that I get frustrated with the phrasing associated with football content and find myself becoming more and more like Alan Partridge in my desire for commentators and writers to stop talking about American things. I remain unconvinced that “the streets won’t forget” a mediocre backheel by Guti in a La Liga game at the turn of the century, that any moderately skilful midfielder should be described as “a baller” or that every half decent goal should be “hung in the Louvre”. I can, however, make some allowances here for Chloe Kelly. Her upbringing in cage football has ensured that the streets of Southall have not forgotten their daughter’s success as there is a plaque commemorating her in Windmill Park. Her close control and power owes a lot to informal, small-sided games and explains her appointment as a coach for the Baller League. Her euphoric celebration following her winner in the Euro 2022 final may not have made it into the Louvre but has secured her a place in the National Portrait Gallery. If the Lionesses make it through the final stages of qualification for the 2027 World Cup they may be needing Chloe Kelly for some more of those so-called “clutch” moments.