591: Kylian Mbappé, France, Panini UEFA Euro 2020 Official Licensed Sticker Album, Tournament Edition, 444: Steven Gerrard, Liverpool, Topps Match Attax Trading Card Game, 2009/10 and 21: Roberto Carlos, Brasil, Panini World Cup France 98

We celebrate five years of our blog in this post and we would like to start by saying thank you to anyone who has read, shared, commented, contributed or suggested content. It’s insane to think that the Covid-19 lockdowns which inspired this were so long ago and the fact that anyone is still engaging with it now that they have the ability to have actual friends or lives is incredibly flattering.

When we started suggesting ideas for this collaborative effort we thought it might be time to be a bit braver than our usual tributes to genuine global icons, club heroes and substitute goalkeepers. Today we come for three players we believe to be overrated. They are clearly all excellent footballers (and we really can’t talk) and some of them might be really nice blokes (see above) but there’s just something not quite right for us. We’ll start across the Channel with Emlyn Shepherdson-Jones and someone who might prove us all even more wrong than we probably are.

When the call came through on the blog WhatsApp group for overrated players, a few names sprung up from over the years. Many of them have had successful careers, but to my mind, are lauded above their actual abilities for various reasons – most often, being English. Ultimately, the subject was chosen by one of the groomsmen from my wedding, Paul, who is absolutely convinced that Kylian Mbappé is colossally overrated. Searching for his name in our messaging group has picked up Paul's views as, variously, "Genuinely never seen him play well", "the new Pogba", "France would have won the whole thing if they had played Giroud instead", "lives off the back of one good game", and "absolutely dog shit". Frankly, it's quite a tough argument to make. However, there is one area of the mercurial talent's record where he can only consider himself a goalscoring peer of journeyman striker Sam Vokes, and three members of the Swansea City defence. More on that later.

Whether overrated or not, Mbappé was certainly highly rated in his youth, with clubs including Real Madrid, Chelsea, Manchester City and Bayern Munich all keen to sign him. He instead signed with Monaco, joining the academy that had churned out compatriot and idol Thierry Henry. He broke Henry's record by becoming the youngest first team player in the club's history, and in his first full season managed 26 goals. Having demonstrated his ability in Ligue 1, PSG decided to splash out a record €180 million for a teenager to bring him to the capital. Seven seasons and 256 goals saw him break the record for the club as top goalscorer, pick up six league titles, four French cups, and in 2018, a World Cup with France. Even an alleged attempt by a witch doctor hired by Paul Pogba and his brother wasn't enough to derail his career, and in 2024, Mbappé finally realised his dream by moving to Real Madrid, where he continues to bang in the goals to this day.

To be honest, it's quite unfair to say that Mbappé isn't firmly deserving of the plaudits he gets – his goalscoring record in World Cups would be the envy of most players throughout history, and a domestic record of 0.75 goals per game over the course of his career to date is simply mind blowing. Nonetheless, I would like to present a list of footballers who have scored at least as many goals in European Championship games as he has:

Neil Taylor

Ashley Williams

Sam Vokes

Kieffer Moore

Connor Roberts

Hal Robson-Kanu (x2)

With twelve goals in just fourteen World Cup appearances, it seems a pretty safe bet that Mbappé will go on to be the highest scorer in the history of the competition, at still only 26 years of age. However, on the field of European Championship competition, which is surely the real quiz, the above list proves beyond question that Mbappé can only claim to be half the player of Reading hero and turmeric peddler Hal Robson-Kanu. And only one of them featured in the middle eight of a Manic Street Preachers single. Over to Mat.

Ok, lets get this out the way now. Yes, it’s maybe obvious that me, a Manchester United fan, wants to say Steven Gerrard is overrated. But it’s true. Yes, he won some trophies, UEFA Cup, Champions League, League Cup, probably an FA Cup or two in there somewhere as well. Never the Premier League though. Even Michael Owen, once of Stoke City, managed that. Just saying.

Many England caps, goals and even a captaincy also came his way. Now, let me be clear, I’m not saying he was a bad footballer. Far from it. I’m sure he could school me on the pitch. And what about Istanbul?! I can already hear Liverpool fans screaming at these hallowed pages. Well, dear reader, he wasn’t that good.

I’ll go further, that noughties Liverpool team, it wasn’t Gerrard’s team. Yes, he grabbed the headlines, and was the poster boy – “one of our own” as Spurs fans loved to sing about Harry Kane. However, the first half, when Liverpool went 3-0 down to AC Milan (what a team that was by the way) he was average. At best. The game changed in the second half with the introduction of one Didi Hamann freeing up Xabi Alonso. He of lack of pace and set to be replaced by Gareth Barry fame Alonso that is. It was Alonso’s team. He made it function. The passing. Vision. Ability to make something happen. Gerrard was the blood and thunder. Alonso the brains. The conductor. Stevie “don’t let it slip” G, was nothing more than a shiny version of one Scott McTominay. Although the Scot is bossing Serie A at the moment, so that may be being a bit too generous.

So his Liverpool career, although good, he was carried by players better and more adept than him. He was just there a long time and was lucky to play with good players – Alonso, Torres, Carroll…

His international career is also a testament to that, and one that, in 2008, particular annoys me. What did he achieve? Captain in the Euro 2012 campaign qualifying and the tournament. Then the nadir: that 2014 World Cup campaign and England’s first elimination after only two games. That 2008 England team should have been great. The Golden Generation. Cole, Ferdinand, Neville, Scholes, Owen, Rooney. It could and should have delivered more. The problem was Gerrard. Well, and Lampard. The best midfielding in that team, yes I am biased but I’ll die on this hill, Paul Scholes was shoved out wide. And it led to his international retirement. Gave him more Manchester United game time though I should be happy.

But there is more. The Champions League winning midfield of Man U in the 2008 Champions League final was all English. Scholes, Carrick and Hargreaves (before his knee decided it was made of Cheese Strings). Why break that up? Why try to force Gerrard and Lampard in? They’d be great impact subs if things needed switching up – McTominay style.

The hype around Gerrard is a mirror. He reflects those who were good around him. Just look – Captain in 2014 – he and England were garbage. His midfield teammates: Lampard and the how to make them work debate continues; Wilshere (in between injuries); Jordan Henderson before he was actually any good; Sterling; Lallana, Oxlade-Chamberlain; and Ross Barkley.

Actually that list isn’t as bad as I remember – but none of them were world class superstars and smooth operators like Alonso. Or Scholes. Or Carrick. Gerrard and England were garbage. That’s one thing Southgate did well as England manager – went for system players rather than names. If only Scholes, Carrick, and Hargreaves were given the same respect and opportunity. We may have at least qualified in 2008. Back to Manny to round things up.

There were perhaps three players I had in mind for this particular piece when the idea for some iconoclasm was bounced around our WhatsApp group. Initially I was considering doubling down on my long time assertion that Ronaldo (the Brazilian one, not the preening powerhouse of the Saudi Pro League) was a flat track bully and everyone getting misty eyed about some stepovers in a Nike advert from the 1990s should have a word with themselves. Then I looked at his stats and the clubs he played for and thought it might be more of a me problem. Rich and I have regularly shared our confusion over the obsession with Guti but I thought he might want to stick the boot in where several La Liga defenders clearly couldn’t be arsed to. That just left the colossal quads of their fellow Real Madrid star Roberto Carlos.

First and foremost Roberto Carlos was clearly a very good footballer. The marauding left back scored over a hundred goals in nearly a thousand club games and won over a century caps for Brazil. During this time he represented top flight clubs in his home country, Italy, Spain, Turkey, Russia and India and won a World Cup, a Copa America, three Champions Leagues, four La Liga titles, two Brazilian Serie A gongs and a handful of other domestic trophies. He was the runner up for the Ballon d’Or on two occasions and, despite his reputation for his attacking flair, was named as UEFA Club Defender of the Year twice. Roberto Carlos also scored some iconic goals due to a left foot like a traction engine which was capable of unleashing shots at over 100mph.

Having written all that maybe I’m wrong but I think my frustrations regarding Roberto Carlos come more from the mythos surrounding his abilities. As an actual left back he often seemed a bit dodgy defensively and my main memories of his 1998 World Cup campaign were him attempting an overhead kick clearance against Denmark and landing on his arse to give a goal away. David Batty at least managed to connect with Imed Ben Younes’ face when performing similar acrobatics. His reputation for spectacular free kicks came almost entirely from his physics defying effort against France at Le Tournoi which may or may not have been down to the ball being subtly replaced with an air floater. In World Cups Roberto Carlos generally seemed to do a ludicrously long run up only to smash the ball into the wall or orbit although he apparently scored a free kick against China in 2002. He was good for one or two desperate sliding tackles a game, and generally did what was needed, but got found out by more savvy forwards. After been repeatedly pantsed by Thierry Henry at the 2006 World Cup he retired from international football.

In 2020 Roberto Carlos was effectively named as the second best left back of all time in the Ballon d’Or Dream Team behind Paolo Maldini. The 3-4-3 formation chosen by the architects of this particular award seemed to have far too much faith in his defensive abilities and I feel like Franco Baresi and Frank Rijkaard would be doing a lot of tidying up on the left flank. Maybe I am being curmudgeonly in my assessment of his abilities but I am always a bit suspicious of defenders who are mainly credited for the stuff they do besides defending. Garth Crooks’ Premier League teams of the week always seemed to pick defenders who had scored goals rather than prevent them and the obsession with full backs having to also provide Hollywood passes and fanciful shots from range seems to have limited the careers of far superior defensive talents. Whether or not this is entirely Roberto Carlos’ fault is highly debatable but I would be looking elsewhere for someone to man the left back position in any hypothetical dream team.

There you have it then. Maybe five years of writing about great players has taken its toll on our sunny and positive outlook on life and football. Perhaps, more realistically, it’s the combined century of years enduring and embracing the mediocre, frustrating and downright awful. Thanks for reading and hopefully this hasn’t put you all off.