79: Wayne Rooney, England, Topps Match Attax Trading Card Game, England Collector Binder

Today Richard Allinson takes on a request post for the excellent Ramswriter Podcast. A few months ago the four of us here at A Sticker’s Worth 500 Words had established a relatively lengthy list of players we had agreed never to discuss on these hallowed pages due to a variety of prejudices. Within about five minutes of our last Twitter call for requests Simon Long forced us to abandon said list. We’re a principled bunch as you can see. Over to Rich for some revisionism.

Normally when I write a post on a player who has achieved a lot in the game, I tend to go into a list to summarise their achievements because what they have done is so significant. With Wayne Rooney even this slightly lazy approach to blogging isn’t possible because on paper, he achieved so bloody much. He won 16 major trophies (if you count the World Club Cup) and 45 individual honours (if you count the… erm, Bravo Awards). He is Manchester United’s record goal scorer (253), England’s record goal scorer (53), and England’s most capped outfield player (120). His achievements are insane, so why is it that I have never considered him to be up there with the best players of his generation?

His personal life is his personal life, and the fact he was allegedly a romancer of the elderly doesn’t impact on my thoughts of his achievements on the pitch. To be fair to Wazza, I’m not sure the reason I have always been unconvinced by him is actually his fault. In my view, there were a lot of sycophants around him during a time in his career when he wasn’t performing, and their blind faith became tedious. Clive Tyldsley’s endlessly nauseating “ROOOOONNNNNEY!” every time he skewed an under hit shot eight yards wide was enough for me to turn the TV over on more than one occasion. His selection for England regardless of how badly he was playing became so ridiculous I started to wonder if he had a contract with the FA which meant that he had to play. He obviously didn’t, but the insistence of various managers on selecting him regardless of his performances genuinely made me question it. I also remember once reading an article discussing who was better out of Ronaldo, Messi or Rooney. It was like questioning who was the better songwriter: Lennon, McCartney or Starr. As much as Octopus’ Garden is a banger, it isn’t winning an Ivor Novello any time soon.

The stats would suggest Rooney was England’s greatest ever player, but was he? If you asked my Dad he would tell you it was Bobby Charlton; if you asked Graham Taylor he would tell you it was Carlton Palmer; and if you asked anyone with a TV set during the summer of 1996 they would tell you it was Paul Gascoigne. I think the fact he was part of a series of dismal England teams doesn’t help on this front. Personally, I have much more fondness for Lineker, Beardsley, Shearer, Sheringham and Owen than I do big Wayne. But they were part of England teams that made you dream. Wayne Rooney was part of an England side that resulted in me getting laughed at by two Danish lads at the Roskilde festival in 2006 after we’d just watched England lose to Portugal. A lot of polls don’t rank him as the nation’s best player either, although Adam Lallana was 24th on one list, so maybe we can take them with a pinch of salt.

I then consider whether I’m unconvinced by him because of his actual ability, and so I trotted off to YouTube to watch some of his goals. He didn’t half score some belters in fairness. The overhead kick against Manchester City, the back heel flick against Swansea City, the volleyed lob from the half-way line against West Ham United, the thunderous volley from 25 yards out in front of the Stretford End against Newcastle United, and not forgetting his goal for Everton against Arsenal. In spite of these excellent efforts, I never found him that exciting to watch. ‘Powerful’, ‘strong’ and ‘work-rate’ are often words used to describe Rooney and although these are good qualities to have, I would pick Van Nistelrooy, Yorke, Van Persie and Ronaldo ahead of him as far as entertainment value amongst Man United strikers every time. Although I might have always been unconvinced by him, the greats of his generation seem to have a different opinion:

"The biggest English talent I've seen since I've been in England, by far. He has everything what you can dream to have. Intelligent, quick reactions, good at running with the ball, moving forward quickly and of course he is very accurate in front of goal.” Arsene Wenger

“He was so powerful I was calling him ‘Pitbull.’ The power of Wayne Rooney is his mentality and strength and he never stops. He’s a fantastic team player and he scores.” Cristiano Ronaldo

“There has always been a great deal of respect between myself and Wayne Rooney. For me he is the great English player of the generation. What he is capable of doing on the field is very special, and he is one of the few players that would improve any squad in Europe.” Lionel Messi

“Wayne Rooney is a player I have admired for a long time. He is an extraordinary player with extraordinary capabilities.” Xavi

Not bad. So yeah, taking these viewpoints and the ridiculous goals he scored into account, there is a slight chance I might have overlooked Wayne Rooney a little bit. Fair play, Wazza.