12: Ashley Cole, Arsenal, Merlin’s F.A. Premier League 2001 Official Sticker Collection

About ten years ago I was having a beer with a couple of mates from school. During a discussion of our equally mediocre Championship sides the phrase “that kid who came off the bench looks handy” was uttered. It suddenly hit us that we were no longer so young and that, despite any lasting delusions, none of us were ever going to make it as professional footballers. Such a crushing realisation could only be remedied with a few more pints and a large doner on the way home.

Every football fan has had a moment when they are completely blown away by a talented young prospect. I’ve lost count of the number of times my Dad asked me “who IS he?” about such players at Selhurst Park. Unfortunately, they tended to be playing for the opposition and had usually just embarrassed an ageing centre-half with their ability to actually run. Michael Owen against Andy Linighan in 1997 and Kevin Phillips against Neil Ruddock in 2001 were particularly harrowing examples.

However, in the spring of the year 2000, the Palace faithful were blessed with the arrival of a young fullback on loan from Arsenal. For fourteen games he helped to shore up a leaky defence and ensure that an injury-ravaged Eagles side avoided relegation to the old Division 2. As we headed to our seats in the Holmesdale Dad took a look at the programme and asked “who is he?” about the young man adorning the front cover. “Ashley Cole, Dad, on loan from Arsenal. Pretty handy apparently.”

To set the scene, the 1999/2000 season had hardly been a vintage one for SE25’s finest. Palace had summarily failed to mount anything resembling a promotion challenge and sat in the ever-dangerous lower end of the middle of the table. A decent run of form, linked entirely to the arrival of Cole at the club, had helped them climb away from the relegation zone but safety would only be guaranteed with a win against Blackburn Rovers. Within half an hour former Palace striker Matt Jansen, one of the few “who IS he?” players we’d had around this time, had put the visitors a goal up. No celebration from one of English football’s nicest blokes but a mountain to climb in the second half.

In the second period the game got increasingly tense as Palace pushed for an equaliser. Step forward Ashley Cole. Having bombed forward to start the attack the young fullback collected Mikael Forssell’s pass and dispatched a swirling half-volley over a helpless Alan Kelly to level the score sparking pandemonium in the stands. As play broke up as both sides searched for a winner Rovers became increasingly frustrated and Lee Carsley saw red for two scything tackles in short succession. Five minutes later Clinton Morrison rose highest to nod in the winner but this was not the final incident of note in the game. As Blackburn pushed for an equaliser Cole clattered into the back of Jason McAteer sending him sprawling and pleading to the referee for a free kick. Play on. Sod the exceptional goal and tireless effort down the left flank, this was the moment Ashley Cole became a Palace hero.

I might have enjoyed this more than was strictly necessary but McAteer had been guilty of rank shithousery all game and I still hadn’t forgiven him for both injuring Michele Padovano and refusing to sign my programme back in his Liverpool days. Anyway, the final whistle confirmed Palace’s place in Division 1 for another season and legendary manager Steve Coppell led the celebrations in front of the Holmesdale faithful by flinging his suit jacket into the crowd. Surely the 2000/01 season would be the one that Palace would make a triumphant return to the Premier League? Especially as we had apparently agreed to sign Cole permanently for a measly £1m when his loan spell came to an end.

Unfortunately Palace didn’t have 1p left in the bank let alone £1m and the following season saw us survive by the skin of our teeth thanks to Dougie Freedman’s wondergoal against Stockport County on the final day. In classic Palace style Coppell had been relieved of his duties in pre-season by new chairman Simon Jordan but that’s a rant for another time. Back at Arsenal an injury to Sylvinho gave Ashley Cole a clear run at the left-back position and it’s fair to say he never looked back. By the time he retired in 2019 he had earned 107 caps for England and arguably could be remembered as one the best fullbacks of all time. What’s for certain though is that no one will need to ask “who is he?” again.