248: Taribo West, Nigeria, Panini World Cup France 98

Congratulations then to Rodri for winning this year’s Ballon d’Or following another season of success at Manchester City and victory for Spain in this summer’s European Championships. Some critics suggested he may have been more deserving of the award last year after City’s treble exploits while everyone in anyway affiliated with Real Madrid were so horrified by this coronation ahead of their own Vinicius Jr that they binned off the entire ceremony. Meanwhile Brazil’s politicians described the perceived snub as “the biggest injustice in history” which is fairly hyperbolic when one considers such hideous phenomena as slavery or genocide.

Amidst such controversy it would have perhaps been crass for Rodri to revel in the limelight and extol his virtues as the world’s best player. That being said it was something of a let down when he reeled off a host of bland platitudes such as “I am a very calm person until I get upset. I am just a normal guy, you don't have to be crazy." As a defensive midfielder these are probably quite useful qualities but for a group of grumpy old men running a football nostalgia blog they made us all long for the days of flair, character and statement hairstyles. Maybe not the full Robin Friday approach but perhaps something a bit more exciting.

Take Taribo West for example. The Nigerian played for a host of clubs during his fifteen year career, played at two World Cups and won an Olympic gold medal all whilst colour co-ordinating his hair to his kits. After a century of appearances for Auxerre he moved to Inter Milan in 1997 at the same time as Ronaldo and was part of a side which won the UEFA Cup off the back of the Brazilian’s goal scoring prowess. Two seasons later he moved clubs but remained at the same stadium by joining AC Milan but after only four appearances headed out on loan to Derby County. Having helped the Rams maintain their Premier League status he moved to Kaiserslautern for a solitary season before joining Partizan Belgrade and winning the First League of Serbia and Montonegro. Following a brief spell in Qatar with Al-Arabi he reappeared in England with Championship side Plymouth Argyle. After five appearances, including four losses, he was told he was free to leave by new manager, and club shop enthusiast, Tony Pulis. Having informed his boss he had “an inferiority complex” he did just that.

West finished his career in Iran before becoming a pastor and forming his own church in his home country. The defender apparently used charms as part of his pre-match rituals throughout his career and the Shelter in the Storm Miracles Church of all Nations invites you to join family, friends and foes in prayer every Sunday. Perhaps he’ll be joined one day by Thierry Henry who described West as his toughest ever opponent due to his aggressive man marking. More likely there’ll be all those who played Championship Manager 01/02 looking to pay homage to one of the game’s, if not the entire franchise’s, greatest ever free transfers. He may have less joy amongst his former international team mates whom he accused of being distracted by “wooing women into their rooms” ahead of their disappointing World Cup defeat to Denmark.

If all of this wasn’t enough for you it’s worth noting that Taribo West spent much of his career under a cloud of suspicion regarding his age. Officially he was born in 1974 meaning he made his professional debut at the age of fifteen and retired at the relatively young age of 34. Reports in 2010, however, suggested that West and compatriots Jay-Jay Okocha, Nwankwo Kanu and Obafemi Martins were all several years older than they claimed to be. While West firmly denied these allegations his former employers at Partizan Belgrade weighed into the debate stating he was a good twelve years older than his paperwork suggested and those who saw his later performances at Plymouth Argyle could see this as a logical explanation for his struggles in Devon.

Footballers’ main job is to play football and, ideally, play it well. In that sense it’s probably unfair to have started this post by complaining about Rodri’s banality as he is undoubtedly really good at the football – just look at City’s performances in his absence. At the same time I think many of us would find it a lot easier to get behind the current Ballon d’Or winner if he at least dyed a sky blue streak in his hair or set up his own church. Even better if he randomly turned up on loan at Coventry City or actually turned out to be 62. Thankfully the cosy mists of the past can always deliver and in that sense Taribo West had it all. Maybe when the dust settles on Manchester City’s multiple charges the powers that be can retrospectively award him Rodri’s Ballon d’Or.