179: Danny Simpson, Leicester City, Merlin’s Premier League 2015 Official Sticker Collection

Mat Jolin-Beech brings us something resembling a season review of what has been an interesting campaign for a number of reasons. Newcastle United won the Carabao/Worthington/Coca-Cola/Rumbelows Cup to end a trophy drought stretching back to their Intertoto Cup triumph in 2006 (and their first domestic success since 1955). Crystal Palace won the FA Cup to register a first major trophy in their history because apparently the Zenith Data Systems Cup doesn’t count. Tottenham Hotspur managed to finish one place above the relegation zone and win the Europa League to take the term “Spursy” to strange new places. Over to Mat to take a closer look at the top flight.

Leicester City have had an awful season. Relegated. Many, many home games with straight defeats without scoring. Only Southampton being even more terrible has saved some of their blushes. It wasn’t too long ago that they won the league. 


Now, Danny Simpson is not a bad player. True, he’ll never top many Ballon d’Or lists or even top XX players in Premier League history but he was a solid professional. Yet it doesn’t stop him from being in the “worst players to win the league” list that a quick Google threw up. Why? Well, has this actually been a good season for anyone? For most of the teams in the top flight it’s not been a good at all.

Arsenal got nowhere near a serious title challenge. I have no clue, along with most, what the hell is going on at Chelsea. Manchester City have been poor by their standards and it would be funny, apart from being a Manchester United fan and us being utter garbage has meant I can’t enjoy their relative struggles. Spurs have been poor which is always funny. Everton have had decent spells now Moyes is back, but still not good.

There are two teams I can think of that I can confidently say have had a good season. Nottingham Forest with their European charge I wish had landed them Champions League football for next season and then Liverpool. But let me pose this question dear reader and, no, it’s not just because I’m a bitter United fan (although that may have a little bit to do with it): have Liverpool actually been that good? Or are that just less bad than everyone else?

Now there will be no stats or deep dive here. A. I can’t be arsed. B. The signal on the train is poor. And C. It may disprove my argument, so why let facts get in the way (eh President Trump…?) Have Liverpool Danny Simpsoned their way to the title just by being OK when everyone else has soiled the bed?

City, regular favourites for the league, have been terrible. Arsenal cannot be trusted and are always the bridesmaid. Everyone has dropped points and fallen off a cliff. Liverpool have just turned up, been as good as you’d expect and at least been not terrible. Just like the 2015/16 Leicester City title campaign when Spurs managed to finish third in a two horse race. Just by doing enough Liverpool won the league. I cannot think of when they’ve been absolutely amazing or pulled off any last minutes recoveries. And beating Spurs 5-1 to win the league doesn’t count. See my earlier comment about Spurs being trash.

If everyone had even vaguely turned up this season, would Liverpool have won the league? Maybe. But probably not. I’m not saying they’d be nowhere near, as they are a good team. But solid good. Not amazing good. Not Rooney, Tevez and Ronaldo United good. Not even Aguero City good. Not Mourinho’s Chelsea good. And it’d even go as far as to say less exciting and entertaining than that Leicester team. Worst team to win the league? No. A golden, classic all-time team? Definitely not.

They’ve been a Danny Simpson and 2015/16 Foxes: good when everyone else has fallen over. Still, as much as this may seem as a slight on Danny Simpson, (which it isn’t meant to be) at least he has more league winners’ medals that one Scouse legend Steven Gerrard! Also, as a suffix, well played to the Everton fans who disguised blue flares as red ones to ruin Liverpool fans’ celebrations. Top notch shithousery and I applaud.

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