465: Mark Clattenburg, Referee, Topps Match Attax Trading Card Game, Barclays Premier League 2010/11 Collector Binder

Football as we know and love it is back. Gone is the unity of major international tournaments in place of nine months of social media beef and screaming obscenities at that bloke you professed your undying love for in the summer. The optimism you may have, briefly, experienced as Ollie Watkins crashed his shot past Bart Verbruggen can now be put aside for the misery of a barren run in the winter months or a humiliating FA Cup exit. Moreover the men in the middle come back under the microscope after a summer of almost frightening levels of competence.

Despite spending my formative years suggesting that the nation’s referees enjoyed a bit too much extracurricular self-love there were very few who stood out as individuals. As a Football Italia obsessive I recognised the imperious Pierluigi Collina and enjoyed the flourishes of John Toro Rendon, whom we imaginatively nicknamed ‘The Colombian Ref’ in the primary school playground, at France ’98 but the vast majority of the men in black were merely faceless operatives of the footballing establishment. Perhaps emboldened by his international colleagues Paul Alcock unleashed some interpretive dance in the early stages of the 1998/99 season following a light shove from Paolo Di Canio but, beyond noting they were from obscure small towns in the Midlands, referees remained relatively anonymous.

Somewhere along the way this changed. Blaming the Premier League would be easy, and perhaps vaguely accurate, but it’s hard to pinpoint the moment when the ‘celebrity ref’ came into being. The media circus that has grown around the game has undoubtedly helped but, by the late 2000s, it seemed as if certain referees were pushing for the levels of fame being enjoyed by the players they were officiating. With every decision being increasingly scrutinised by pundits and journalists they looked less and less like accountants or your mate’s dad and more like part of the well groomed glitterati to the point where they even got their own card in the Match Attax collection for the 2010/11 season. I say they but I mean Mark Clattenburg.

Clattenburg had risen through the league pyramid before his appointment as a FIFA referee in 2006. He was selected to oversee the showpiece Community Shield curtain opener in 2008 only to be suspended following investigations into his business debts but officiated Manchester City’s tie with Bolton Wanderers at the end of the season. Soon he was a Premier League and Champions League regular and, by the end of 2012, had refereed both the League Cup and Olympic finals. Four years later he scored an impressive treble of the FA Cup, Champions League and Euro 2016 finals. In the latter two he overcame the pressure of a Madrid derby and an infestation of giant moths yet he still failed to play an advantage after Chris Smalling’s vicious assault on Connor Wickham in the former and is therefore entirely to blame for Crystal Palace’s failure to add to their Zenith Data Systems Cup glory at Wembley. In my opinion anyway. I’ve moved on. Honest.

With the refereeing world seemingly at his feet Clattenburg announced his departure for Saudi Arabia to serve as the country’s Head of Refereeing. Ahead of the nation’s transformation into the epicentre of world football Clattenburg found the standard of refereeing well below acceptable standards and resigned from his post after eighteen months. During this time he made some controversial comments regarding his officiating of Tottenham Hotspur’s 2-2 draw with Chelsea which handed Leicester City the Premier League title in 2016 and his autobiography, ‘Whistle Blower’ released in 2021, took aim at some of his colleagues in a way which burnt some of the remaining bridges between him and the English top flight. Perhaps Mike Riley is “a boring f***er” but committing it to print might not have been the best idea.

Mark Clattenburg re-emerged earlier this year as this generation’s John Anderson serving as the referee on the reboot of Gladiators. Flashing his commemorative tattoos from his footballing years he played the role admirably as the likes of Legend and Nitro tried his patience. It seemed as though he had finally found his niche only to make headlines as Nottingham Forest’s new signing as the club’s refereeing analyst. Quite what this role involved or meant never quite became clear even as Forest went on the offensive against Professional Match Game Officials Limited, the refereeing governing body, following a 2-0 defeat to Everton. Despite the apparent Luton Town/Stuart Atwell conspiracy alongside a points deduction Forest stayed up but Clattenburg soon resigned from his role. In the wake of their FA charge for their aforementioned chagrin on X formerly known as Twitter Clattenburg stated “these consultancy services have caused unintended friction… to the extent that it has become more of a hindrance than help to NFFC. It has also led to the unmerited targeting of me, personally, by certain participants and pundits.”

When Manchester United take on Fulham in six days’ time to kick off the Premier League season it would be a minor miracle if the game passes without at least one VAR incident. By the end of Leicester City’s clash with Tottenham Hotspur on the following Monday night it is almost guaranteed that PMGOL, the fourth officials and anyone who has ever blown a whistle will be on the receiving end of the traditional tirade of fury from former pros who remember the good old days when tackles resembled spots from WWE hardcore matches and us, the ever forgiving fans, who think the refs have it in for our team. Whilst the latter point is a universal truth there’s none of us would swap with those in charge for anything. Even our own Match Attax card and a job on Gladiators.