396: Dave Kitson, Reading, Merlin’s F.A. Premier League Official Sticker Collection 2006/07

Our third post to celebrate our fourth anniversary comes from Emlyn Shepherdson-Jones (yes, he got married and went all Gary Taylor-Fletcher) and takes a look at a well travelled forward who definitely hasn’t had a job on the side revealing football’s darkest secrets. But that’s what he’d want you to think isn’t it? Over to Emlyn.

When the suggestion came through on the Sticker's Worth 500 Words WhatsApp to do a cult hero for our respective teams, the immediate thought that came to mind was James Harper. I've already written about him and several of his title-winning contemporaries over the years, but definitely could have waxed lyrical for several thousand more on the adoration I have for this man. However, in the interests of a tiny semblance of originality, I will focus on a man who sat next to Harper in the 2006/07 Squad Photograph – with both men linking arms and gently caressing the inner thigh of the other. It's no secret which footballer I'm describing: Reading's iconic shelf stacker turned Premier League striker Dave Kitson.

It was a slow start in football for Kitson, with his early years in the game being in non-league, and he worked in Sainsbury's until he was signed for third tier Cambridge United aged 21. Coincidentally, the Secret Footballer also started in the professional game at this age. In his two and a half seasons with the Us he scored 40 goals, and this was enough for Reading to pay £150,000 to bring him to Berkshire. He became a Reading legend over five seasons with the club, with his goals in the 2005/06 season helping the Royals to a record 106-point haul and the Championship trophy. Kitson scored Reading's first goal in the Premier League, however was injured later in the same match and missed over half the season. His second season, however, saw him net ten goals and at one point be the top English scorer in the league, prompting suggestions of an England call-up. Unfortunately, Reading were relegated on the last day of the season, a 4-0 win over Derby County not enough to save them owing to a late goal from Danny Murphy. An experience not unlike one that also befell the Secret Footballer.

Kitson stated he would have been happy to stay at Reading, however as one of the top earners in the squad, a £5.5m offer from Stoke City proved too good to turn down for the Royals, and Kitson remained in the Premier League. He was far from happy at the Britannia Stadium, feeling he wasn't utilised and falling out with coach Tony Pulis. No goals in his first season saw him back at Reading on loan, however, with the club falling short of promotion in the playoffs, he returned to Stoke, where he did manage to score five goals for the side while also playing on loan at Middlesbrough. While at Stoke, he had a notable incident when he was winded by a clearance from Antonio Valencia, which coincidentally also happened to the Secret Footballer.

Having lost his place to James Beattie, Kitson moved to newly relegated Portsmouth, and was a regular starter in the Championship, chipping in with some valuable goals. After two seasons, he dropped a division again, moving to Sheffield United who had recently lost the services of Ched Evans. He scored twelve goals over the season, but left following a loss in the playoffs, before playing a final season in the fourth tier for Oxford United.

In retirement, Kitson has remained active, working as a pundit, and sitting as Chairman of Arlesey Town. He is also still engaged with Reading, hosting a podcast about the club and mental health, and also joined a march against owner Dai Yongge last year. He also recently launched the Dave Kitson Academy, which is based within the area and provides coaching for local children. To bring the post full circle, he has brought in old teammate James Harper as a coach, to allow both to give back to the community. He has also signed on as a player for my local side, Caversham United, in the Sunday League.

In an unexpected announcement, Kitson was also introduced recently as the new manager of the Nauru international football team. Not officially part of FIFA, the nation nonetheless has plans to hold a tournament against many nations well known to fans of Pointless, such as Micronesia, Tuvalu and Kiribati. Given that 94.5% of the population of Nauru is considered overweight or obese, Kitson will have a tough job ahead of him, but it's another episode in the strange journey of the man who definitely wasn't the Secret Footballer.