192: Kevin Muscat, Crystal Palace, Merlin’s Premier League 98 Official Sticker Collection

The latest incarnation of the Ashes is upon us and it’s the first opportunity for cricket fans to see if Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum’s super aggressive brand of ‘Bazball’ will stand up in the heat of the most hyped series on the planet. As soon as England started being vaguely good again last summer the verbal sparring between players from both nations had begun. The ever diplomatic Stuart Broad channelled his inner David Brent to declare that England’s shellacking at the hands of the Aussies last time round didn’t count because of Covid bubbles and that England would be triumphant in the real quiz. Whether or not he chooses to lob a kettle over the roof of the Trent Bridge pavilion later this summer will no doubt be another talking point.

The enmity between England and Australia’s cricketers dates back to the very first ‘Ashes’ Test in 1882 where the Aussies’ ‘Demon Bowler’ Frederick Spofforth used the perceived gamesmanship of the home side to fire himself up for a spell of 7-44 to seal an unlikely victory. The 1932/33 series Down Under, famous for the tourist’s vicious ‘Bodyline’ bowling, caused such a stir that diplomats stepped in to soothe relations between the two countries. In the 1970s the Australians returned the favour with the vicious pace and bounce of Dennis Lillee and Jeff Thomson; the latter stoking pre-series fires with his announcement that “I enjoy hitting a batsman more than getting him out. I like to see blood on the pitch.” These words clearly resonated with another Australian born in the year Thomson made his Test debut who took similar sentiments to the football pitch across a twenty-year career.

Kevin Muscat was actually born in Crawley but moved to Australia at a young age and made his debut for Sunshine George Cross aged sixteen. His defensive acumen and commitment to violence earned him a reputation quickly and by the age of 21 he was a mainstay of a dominant South Melbourne side and a full international. Among his admirers was Sheffield United boss Dave Bassett who invited him for trial at Bramall Lane but did not manage to convince Muscat to leave Australia until he was at the helm with Crystal Palace in 1996. He quickly made his mark with his combative approach when a red card against Norwich City for a foul on Darren Eadie sparked a twenty-one man brawl at Carrow Road. In Muscat’s defence he only picked up five yellows across the rest of Palace’s promotion season but from hereon out he struggled to shake off his hard man image and actively came to embrace it.

Muscat’s commitment to shithousery came in a variety of forms following his move from Palace to Wolverhampton Wanderers. There was the mildly amusing impersonation of former Eagles’ teammate Dougie Freedman in a game against Nottingham Forest which convinced Ian Wright to let the ball run away for Muscat to intercept. Then there were more sinister acts of brutality against the likes of Craig Bellamy, Cristophe Duggary, Michael Boulding and international colleague Stan Lazaridis that resulted in injuries, red cards and Birmingham City’s Martin Grainger to declare him to be “the most hated man in football”. Charlton Athletic’s Matty Holmes had his professional career ended by a Muscat challenge in 1998 with the Addicks’ midfielder requiring four operations amidst fears he may lose his leg. Wolves’ fans and management were quick to defend Muscat’s actions and his undeniable intensity made him both popular at Molineux and appealing north of the border. In 2002 he moved to Glasgow Rangers and was part of a squad which won a domestic treble in his solitary season at Ibrox. It was suggested, however, that his penchant for on field pyrotechnics was the reason he never featured in an Old Firm derby.

Muscat’s next move took him back to South London although this time with Millwall. Three weeks into his time at The New Den he was sent off for stamping on Watford’s Danny Webber and was served with an ultimatum from the Lions’ chief executive, Ken Brown, that he needed to “clean up his act” or face unemployment. The extent to which Muscat heeded this advice is up for debate. He became the club’s captain and was instrumental in helping Dennis Wise’s side reach the FA Cup Final in 2004. In the same year he was taken to court by Matty Holmes, strangled Milan Baros of Liverpool during a League Cup match and inspired a mass brawl after scything down Sheffield United’s Ashley Ward. The latter incident also saw Blades’ keeper Paddy Kenny sent off leading his long-time admirer and famously shy and retiring sort Neil Warnock to sign off his post match handshakes with Millwall’s players after his club’s victory with “serves you right for f***ing Muscat that”.

With Warnock’s well wishes ringing in his ears Muscat returned to Australia as captain of Melbourne Victory in the inaugural A-League season in 2005 and became the first player to face an FFA disciplinary hearing which resulted in a two match ban for violent conduct. Across the next six seasons he barged Adelaide United coach John Kosmina off his chair, stamped on Adelaide United defender Daniel Mullen and elbowed Adelaide United’s Adam Hughes. Just to make it clear that this wasn’t the result of some deep set hatred towards South Australia Muscat also picked up a two match ban for an elbow on Gold Coast United’s Jason Culina. His uncompromising approach gained some admirers, notably former England captain Terry Butcher, but one particular incident in 2011 was not so well received. Muscat’s tackle on Melbourne Heart’s Adrian Zahra resulted in an eight-match ban, the victim requiring surgery and a host of pundits, including Mark Bosnich, condemning his behaviour. The ban ended his season and, after six AFC Champions League games, his Melbourne Victory career. After three games with boyhood club Sunshine George Cross he called time on his playing career.

Kevin Muscat moved into management with Victory picking up two A-League Championships across over five years at the helm before a fairly dismal spell with Belgian side Sint-Truiden. He currently plies his trade in Japan with Yokohama F. Marinos where he has won the J1 League and Japanese Super Cup. His track record suggests he would have little issue inspiring his charges and it’s hard to imagine anyone fancying questioning the boss on the training ground. Muscat’s unique approach to public relations may not have won many friends among opponents, rival fans and pundits but you can’t buy the sort of notoriety that led Spanish magazine El Gol Digital to describe him as football’s dirtiest ever player. It doesn’t seem to bother the man himself and, to once again quote his compatriot Jeff Thomson, “stuff that stiff upper lip stuff – let’s see how stiff it is when it’s split”.