589: Harry Kane, England, FIFA World Cup Russia 2018, Panini Official Licensed Sticker Album

It felt very odd decorating the Christmas tree while the World Cup final got underway and, once Angel di Maria had hit the turf allowing the commentary team to pollute their breeches with delight over Lionel Messi’s 24th successful penalty for Argentina, I lost interest quite quickly. Shortly after Argentina’s second my son woke up from a much-delayed nap and wanted to watch Bluey instead and I had no qualms about his decision. Apparently some other stuff happened in the rest of the game, including Kylian Mbappe becoming only the second man to net a World Cup final hat-trick after Sir Geoff Hurst, but by all accounts it was a drab encounter which could in no way compare to the adventures of a family of Australian dogs.

Hurst’s record was not the only one to be broken in Qatar. By besting Belgium’s ‘Golden Generation’, Spain and Portugal, Morocco became the first African team to reach the semi-finals in the tournament’s history. The impossibly handsome Olivier Giroud overtook the similarly sexy Thierry Henry’s all-time goalscoring record for France. A vertically challenged tax evasion specialist became the first man to score in every round of a World Cup finals tournament. There were, however, some familiar scenes. FIFA President Gianni Infantino made a series of speeches about his organisation and the tournament itself that ranged from cringeworthy to hideously offensive. We all got to enjoy close up shots of Cristiano Ronaldo, Neymar and Luis Suarez in tears. And, like Chris Waddle, Stuart Pearce, manager Gareth Southgate and Marcus Rashford before, England exited a major tournament after a poorly executed penalty kick – this time from captain Harry Kane.

Had Harry Kane not put his second penalty of the quarter-final clash with France somewhere near to Jaap Stam’s effort from Euro 2000 in the stratosphere the England captain would have overtaken Wayne Rooney as England’s all-time top scorer. Once the dust has settled from Qatar 2022 and the Three Lions start their European Championship qualification campaign next March it is almost inevitable that the Tottenham Hotspur striker will go beyond the former skipper’s tally. It’s also highly likely that he will notch up the six goals he needs in all competitions to bypass the late Jimmy Greaves’ all-time record for Spurs and, history suggests, he could make a significant move in this pursuit in two days’ time as he is currently the joint top Boxing Day scorer in Premier League history, alongside Robbie Fowler, with nine goals.

Off the pitch it’s hard to dislike Kane although he is arguably not the most charismatic of interviewees. During the early stages of the Covid-19 pandemic, as his own club were forced to make an embarrassing U-turn over attempts to furlough their non-playing staff, the striker announced a sponsorship deal with Leyton Orient. In order to protect the club’s fragile finances Kane sponsored the club for whom he made his professional debut while also raising money through shirt sales for the NHS, Mind and local children’s hospice Haven House. He is now into his third season backing the Os and has raised awareness and funds for mental health charity Shout and veterans’ organisation Tommy Club. This year he launched his own foundation focusing on mental health and used the unlikely medium of CBeebies Bedtime Stories to promote his campaign by reading Rachel Bright’s ‘The Lion Inside’. He’s been back on this November to read Claire and Kes Gray’s ‘Oi Dog!’ but seemed confused as to where Harry was meant to sit. So soon before his journey to the World Cup surely “Harry Kane sits on the plane”?

Having gone past Andy Cole’s record earlier this season only Alan Shearer and Wayne Rooney sit ahead of Harry Kane in the all-time Premier League goalscoring charts and only Sergio Aguero can boast a better goals per game ratio (by 0.01) in the top ten. At the age of 29 there is every chance that Kane will go on to overtake Shearer’s absurd record of 260 goals in the post-1992 top flight of English football by which time he will almost certainly be his country’s all-time leading goalscorer. Although a major trophy at club and international level remains elusive he can rest easy with his three Premier League Golden Boots to go alongside his 2018 World Cup award of the same name. Perhaps a redemptive penalty at Euro 2024 in the style of Roberto Baggio’s effort against Chile in 1998 or fellow Chingford Foundation School alumnus David Beckham’s against Argentina in 2002 will be the spark needed to send the Three Lions to international glory.