196: Carlton Palmer, Leeds United, Merlin’s Premier League 95 Sticker Collection

“What was he doing in the f***ing box? Didn’t we tell him to hold the middle of the pitch?” It’s fair to say that this is probably not the reaction you would want from your manager upon scoring your first international goal but these were the words uttered by Graham Taylor when Carlton Palmer nodded in against San Marino in a World Cup qualifier in 1993. England’s trials and tribulations under Taylor were immortalised in the fantastically demoralising documentary ‘An Impossible Job’ and sadly undermined the otherwise impressive career of a talented man. It also did a number on Graham Taylor.

I don’t actually remember too much about Carlton Palmer as a player besides getting a fair few doubles of him at both Leeds and Southampton during the 90s. However, I do remember a conversation about him during an A Level English lesson (we were meant to be talking about The Handmaid’s Tale – sorry Margaret Atwood) being added to by a guy who sat in front of me needing to air his grievances on Palmer: “He’s shit man. I remember going Millwall with my Dad and Palmer was getting loads of abuse. We joined in innit?” Make of that what you will but sadly it wasn’t only Jamal in my English class who gave out to Palmer about his ability during, or after, his career.

Palmer came through the ranks at West Bromwich Albion before securing a £750,000 move to Sheffield Wednesday in 1989. He established himself in the side during his time in Sheffield and, while suspension ruled him out of their 1991 League Cup final victory, he did play a part in helping The Owls to both domestic cup finals in 1993 where they ended as runners-up to Arsenal in both competitions. During this time he earned 18 England caps and clearly did enough to convince Howard Wilkinson to fork out £2.6m to take him to Leeds United ahead of the 1994/95 season.

Another League Cup final followed in 1996 but once again Palmer was on the losing side and, having slipped down the pecking order, was on his way to Southampton for £1m ahead of the 1997/98 season. It’s fair to say that his tireless work rate wasn’t particularly popular at The Dell as both his manager, Dave Jones, and captain, Matt Le Tissier, picked holes in his technique. Jones went as far to say that Palmer’s efforts on their pitch were only the result of “his first touch being so crap”. Somewhat understandably Palmer did not gel with his Saints team-mates, being described as “abrasive, awkward and argumentative” in the dressing room and was on his way to Nottingham Forest for £1.1m in January 1999.

Palmer’s last hurrah in the Premier League was with Coventry City at the turn of the century where he racked up nearly as many appearances out on loan for Watford and former club Sheffield Wednesday as he did for the Sky Blues and he departed for Stockport County to take up the role as player-manager in 2001. Unfortunately the Hatters were relegated to the old Division 2 in Palmer’s first season and he was sacked in 2003 after they failed to mount a successful promotion bid. He was back in the manager’s dugout for Mansfield Town in 2004 but resigned a year later with The Stags near the bottom of League Two stating that he had “had a good career and didn’t need to take the abuse from the crowd” at Field Mill.

Thankfully he has had a bit more success away from football and has established his own footballing academy and served as Director of Sport at the Shanghai campus of the prestigious Wellington College. He also won a footballer’s special episode of Come Dine With Me in 2010 which might have made up for all the near misses in Wembley cup finals. He suffered a heart scare in 2016 but has made a full recovery following life-saving five-hour surgery.

In 2007 The Times listed Carlton Palmer at no.40 in their list of the all-time worst Premier League players and, if the complaints of his managers for club and country were anything to go by, there might be some justification to this. However, nearly 600 professional appearances and more England caps than Les Ferdinand, Andy Cole and, ironically, Matt Le Tissier suggest that Palmer had enough about him to remove him from this list. More than anything Palmer’s career suggests that hard work often trumps raw talent and maybe that’s why he was in the f***ing box back in 1993.