130: Simon Rodger, Crystal Palace, Merlin’s Premier League 95 Sticker Collection

You may have noticed that all of us at ‘A Sticker’s Worth 500 Words’ like an excuse to compliment footballing legends for their excellent hair. In some ways we’re providing an anti-Graeme Souness service for the nation to remind you that whether or not you have gone for a Domagoj Vida undercut, some Jason Lee dreadlocks or a Roberto Baggio ponytail, we’ll have your back. In my case this is partly out of self-defence as the previous owner of said Baggio ponytail and some questionable Fernando Torres inspired highlights which made me look more like a cross between Princess Diana and Andrew Ridgeley. I stand by my life choices.

Back in 2003, however, my sister’s attempt to save some money by visiting a student hairdresser while at university was not equally inspired by a desire to pay tribute to a footballing hero. When we drove up to visit the following weekend she was not best pleased when my Dad and I, helpfully, looked at each other and said “Simon Rodger”. I think it’s fair to say that she was hoping we’d get back down the M11 as soon as possible and, nearly five years later, wasn’t too sympathetic when the aforementioned Torres experiment didn’t exactly go to plan.

Let’s all just take a moment to take in the excellence of Simon Rodger’s hair. Here is a man who clearly had the utmost respect for the 1990s and all they gave to fashion. Here is a man who had the confidence to ask for a full head of blonde highlights when the likes of Andy Townsend were only brave enough to ask for the frosted tips. Here is a man who was ready to break hearts two years before Nick Carter and The Backstreet Boys burst on to the scene. Some might point to the likes of Ian Walker, Warren Barton and Stuart Nethercott as the standard bearers for blonde curtains but can they really hold a candle to the man the Crystal Palace fans imaginatively nicknamed ‘Jolly’? Of course they bloody can’t.

Fittingly for a man with a nautical (but nice) nickname, Rodger was born in Shoreham-by-Sea and started his career with Bognor Regis Town before being snapped up for £1,000 by Palace in 1990. ‘Jolly’ established himself as a first-team regular in the 1991/92 season and was a key part of the Palace side that played, and got relegated, in the inaugural Premier League season in 1992/93. He stuck with the Eagles throughout their yo-yo period of promotions and relegations racking up an admirable 328 appearances in all competitions and earned a testimonial in July 2002. He chose Tottenham Hotspur as Palace’s opponents for the game. We lost 4-0. Thanks for that ‘Jolly’.

In a piece of classic Selhurst shithousery, Rodger was released from the club shortly after his testimonial and struggled to find another club to take him on despite being only 31 and playing 40 games in all competitions in the 2001/02 season at Palace. This was fairly typical of Trevor Francis’ management. After all this was a man who punched Alex Kolinko in the face for laughing at an error by goalkeeping rival Matt Clarke and wondered why the Latvian sought employment elsewhere. After turning out once for Woking in the Conference, Rodger was snapped up by Palace legend Steve Coppell at Brighton & Hove Albion of all teams and ‘Jolly’ played out his career on the South Coast retiring in 2004. Ever loyal to the Palace fans he helped get Brighton relegated in his penultimate professional season. What a nice bloke. Although as a boyhood Seagulls’ fan this probably wasn’t deliberate.

Simon Rodger was an integral part of my childhood as an ever-present in a Palace team that were always in some form of battle whether it was for promotion, against relegation or in spite of administration and his tireless work ethic in the centre of midfield was exactly what the club needed for all of these challenges. Moreover, he had exceptional 90s hair and gave me yet another opportunity to be an annoying little brother. Post-retirement has been fairly quiet for ‘Jolly’, at least according to Wikipedia anyway, although he is apparently married to QVC beauty expert Alison Young which probably shouldn’t come as a surprise. Go on. Have another look at that excellent hair. You know you want to.