503: Jelle Van Damme, Southampton, Merlin’s F.A. Premier League 05 Official Sticker Album, Autograph Edition

Mat Jolin-Beech today looks at the managerial merry-go-round which is oiled and ready to go ahead of a new season through the lens of an underused Belgian defender who played three times as many games as one of his managers oversaw in the 2004/05 campaign. His club career saw him play in his native Belgium, the Netherlands, England, Germany and the USA before retirement in 2021 but he is yet to throw his hat into the management ring. He is, however, bald, bearded and European so watch this space should your club make an early personnel change. Over to Mat.

The Euros are over, it still isn’t coming home, and pre-season is already underway. This is the time when hopes and dreams build for your team. The optimism for the new campaign takes root and begins to grow. It is a new season, and with it comes new hope. There also comes new kits at £200 a pop, new ticket prices, always up, never down, and the hope of new signings that will lead your boys to glory.

For some, there are new managers. And it seems like they have to be continental, bald and with a beard. For others, it’s the same managers in place, probably still continental, bald and bearded (see Manchester United) but with a new determination to prove the doubters wrong and aiming for better things to come. But, much like the hopes that football would finally come home (honestly, did you really think England would beat Spain?), hopes and dreams can be shattered very quickly. Just ask Southampton fans.

No Saints fans, I am not looking to burst your bubble on your return to the Premier League after bossing the Championship last season but looking back to the 2004/05 season. Somehow that is now twenty years ago. Surely that is a lie. Twenty years ago is surely at most 1998. Anyway, back then, the Saints manager was one Paul Sturrock who had been plucked from Plymouth Argyle the previous season in March to replace Gordon Strachan, who suddenly decided to depart the south coast. Sturrock rounded off the 2003/04 campaign, leading Southampton to a respectable twelfth placed finish. With a decent squad with the likes of Finnish super goalie Anntti Niemi, one Peter Crouch to lead the line, and a Scandi backbone of Anders Svensson, Claus Lundekvam, Andreas Jakobsson, Michael Svensson, and the Belgian beast of Jelle van Damme in defence, there were hopes of a decent season to come.


But after only six months in charge, and only nine days of the 2004/05 season, Sturrock was gone by mutual consent. This was blamed on a poor run of form, the infamous “losing of the dressing room” and player unrest, as well as board level dissatisfaction on his overall management. That says a lot for the board who only employed him six months prior. Maybe he failed his probation period. That nine day period included only two games: a 2-0 defeat at Aston Villa (Champions League Villa as I’m sure they’ll let everyone know this season) and a 3-2 victory at home to Blackburn Rovers. Not entirely terrible I think you’ll agree. Overall, his reign was thirteen games, five wins, six defeats, and if my maths proves reliable, two draws.

His replacement was one Steve Wigley (who?) who didn’t even last until the New Year, before everyone’s favourite wheeler dealer was parachuted in, one Harry Redknapp. None of this proved to be any good, with Saints finishing bottom of the league and their relegation ending 27 consecutive seasons in the top flight. Some say that was the best thing Redknapp did in management. Those are mostly Portsmouth fans mind.

Other manager who fell very early into the new season include:
  • Peter Reid at Manchester City in 1993/94: 12 days
  • Kenny Dalglish at Newcastle United in 1998/99: 12 days
  • Alan Curbishley at West Ham United in 2008/09 in what remains to this day his last job in football management: 18 days (England manager anyone?)
  • Christian Gross at Tottenham Hotspur in 1998/99: 21 days
  • Frank de Boer at Crystal Palace in 2017/18: 31 days
  • Thomas Tuchel at Chelsea in 2022/23: 33 days
  • And one José Mourinho at Chelsea in 2007/08: 39 days
Looking at that list, who will go early this season? I’m looking at Chelsea, and Enzo Maresca, the bald headed, bearded continental manager poached from Leicester City, to bite the bullet first.

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