39: Ulises de la Cruz, Aston Villa, Merlin’s F.A. Premier League 05 Official Sticker Album, Autograph Edition

Emlyn Jones brings us a truly epic tale today which leans heavily on the work of Homer and liberal use of the strikethrough function. In the A Sticker’s Worth 500 Words WhatsApp group Emlyn warned us that he might be “labouring an extremely unfunny joke” in this post. Thankfully Rich was on hand to remind him that “labouring extremely unfunny jokes is the blog’s strong point”. On that note: Vamonos al viaje para buscar los sonidos magicos…ECUADOR! Over to Emlyn.

In 1922, a publisher in Paris released the full text of James Joyce's previously serialised Ulysses, the Latinised name of Odysseus. The novel is a loose retelling of Homer's epic poems, which chronicle the journeys of the Greek warrior Odysseus and his travels and exploits far from his homeland, before detailing his struggle to return home and claim his rightful position of power. Joyce may have interpreted the tale through his character Leopold Bloom, however, I'm going to attempt to draw a parallel with an Ecuadorian warrior instead. It bears mention that I have never studied Classics but it was either this or a lot of tenuous references to Sash!.

Ulises de la Cruz began his career with Deportivo Quito in his native Ithaca Ecuador, before moving on to Barcelona S.C. (the Ecuadorian rather than Catalonian variant) and finally breaking through at LDU Quito, having previously played there on loan. He forced his way into the Ecuadorian national side, which allowed him to play in front of a global audience.

The flame haired Agamemnon Alex McLeish would entice Ulises to journey to the distant land of Troy Hibernian, where he became a hero after scoring twice against the Trojan Army Hearts. He was accompanied from Ithaca Ecuador by his compatriot, Achilles Eduardo Hurtado but both McLeish and Hurtado would leave the club before the end of the season. Ulises stated that he planned to use the 2002 World Cup to construct a bloody big wooden horse showcase his talents with the hope of moving to conquer further lands, such as Spain or Italy.

Ulises' performance in the World Cup instead saw him travel next to the shore of Troy Birmingham, having attracted the attention of Graham Taylor at Aston Villa. He started 24 games in his first season, in a rotational wrestle with Ajax the Greater Mark Delaney. His first team opportunities became more limited over the following two seasons; and the crowd unfairly dubbing him 'Useless de la Cruz', coupled with his view that new manager Diomedes David O'Leary was blocking transfer requests for him saw him move on to the distant shores of Ismarus Reading on a free transfer, ahead of their debut season in the Premier League.

Ulises had a slow start at Reading, with the starting right back berth often filled by club captain Graeme Murty. He managed 25 games and a solitary goal for the club, with his appearances in his second season being further limited by the arrival of Polyphemus Liam Rosenior. He was released at the end of the 2007/08 season as Reading were relegated. Nonetheless, he is held in high esteem by the fans, as is the case for almost all of the small group of players to have played for the club in the Premier League. This was demonstrated when the Supporter's Trust arranged for a collection for his charity, FundeCruz, and thousands of pounds were raised.

After leaving Reading, Ulises travelled briefly to Thrinacia Watford, then was shipwrecked on Ogygia went on trial at Coventry City. He then signed a short term deal with his former manager Alex McLeish at Phaeacia Birmingham City, before finally completing his epic journey back to Ithaca Ecuador, returning for a third spell at LDU Quito. He retired in 2013, taking up a seat in Ecuador's national assembly, and dedicates his time to politics and his charity.

This is where the laboured comparisons to Odysseus end, as rather than stringing a bow and speaking to the Goddess Athena, Ulises has dedicated his time to serving his local community, and been named a UNICEF ambassador. He's looked back on fondly by fans of the teams he played for, having sent the bulk of his wages home to Ecuador to fund his charity endeavours, and although nobody has written a ten volume epic poem on him (to date) he continues to give back to his homeland and will no doubt go on to improve the lives of countless Ecuadorians. Shove that up your olive tree, Odysseus.


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