433: Kevin Phillips, Sunderland, Merlin’s F.A. Premier League 2000, Millennium Edition Sticker Collection

I’ve always got time for a pub that turns any event into an excuse for a questionable beer and/or food promotion. Back in 2013 my then local, the Penny Theatre in Canterbury, decided to air that year’s WWE Royal Rumble live and, as all dedicated and responsible trainee teachers would, a group of us decided that staying up until 4am with a few beers and a ‘Benoit BBQ’ burger was the best possible decision for our students’ development. Thank God it was a university based ‘study day’ that Monday.

A week or so later we were back in the Penny for their live coverage of Transfer Deadline Day. Despite the lack of themed menu (surely an opportunity for some Peter Odemwingies?) our eyes were glued to the screen for the spectacle. Palace had had a tricky winter and had fallen out of the automatic promotion spots. Glenn Murray was still banging in the goals but the sale of talismanic forward Wilfried Zaha to Manchester United meant the Eagles were in need of further options up front. United were generous enough to loan Wilf back to us and my mood was improved at around 9:30pm when it was confirmed that we had acquired Kevin Phillips on loan until the end of the season. Cue derision from others present: “He’s really old!” “He’s shit!” “He’s really old AND shit!” We’ll see about that later.

One of the main reasons I was excited was that I distinctly remembered Phillips’ in his prime at Sunderland. In the 1999-2000 season he had scored 30 goals in the Premier League to help the newly promoted Black Cats to an impressive seventh placed finish. The diminutive striker had not only been the top scorer in England but the leading marksman across Europe for the season and remains, to this day, the only English player to earn this accolade. In the following season, where he racked up an impressive 14 goals in the top flight, Sunderland came to Selhurst Park in an FA Cup third-round replay and Phillips terrorised an ageing Neil ‘Razor’ Ruddock scoring two goals in a thrilling 4-2 victory. This was a seriously talented footballer.

Having scored 130 goals across 235 appearances in all competitions, Phillips moved to Southampton where he hit double figures in both seasons for a struggling Saints side that were ultimately relegated to the Championship in 2005. Aston Villa secured his signature for the 2005/06 season but for once he failed to impress in front of goal as injuries and illness limited his game time. After only one season he dropped down to the Championship with West Bromwich Albion where he rediscovered his form with 46 goals in 81 games to help the Baggies to the Championship trophy. Clearly enjoying both the Midlands and promotion challenges he moved on to Birmingham City where his 14 goals played an important part in returning them to the Premier League in the 2008/09 season.

Phillips played a bit-part role in Birmingham’s next two seasons in the Premier League but still chipped in with important goals such as an injury time equaliser in the League Cup fourth round tie against Brentford in October 2010 which forced the game to extra time and penalties. This might sound fairly trivial but a few months later Birmingham were lifting the trophy having defeated Arsenal at Wembley. Unfortunately the Blues were also relegated at the end of the 2010/11 season and Phillips was on his way north-west to Blackpool. He scored 17 goals to help the Tangerines into the play-offs where they missed out in the final to West Ham United. Following manager Ian Holloway’s departure for Crystal Palace in November 2012 Phillips found his game time at Bloomfield Road limited and on transfer deadline day he too was on his way to Selhurst Park.

Despite being “really old AND shit” according to the punditry panel assembled in a Canterbury pub Kevin Phillips was exactly what Palace needed to secure their place in the Championship play-offs. Alongside the excellent Murray and Zaha, Phillips contributed vital equalisers in key games against Watford and Peterborough United as well as an excellent hat-trick in a thumping 4-1 win over Hull City. In the goalless first leg against Brighton and Hove Albion Glenn Murray had suffered a serious knee injury but an inspired Wilf Zaha performance in the second leg saw Palace best the Seagulls. Apparently Palace had been greeted with a pile of human faeces upon their arrival in the away dressing room at the Amex – an attempt to unsettle the Eagles’ players which instead acted as a metaphor for Brighton’s performance.

Palace went into the final against Watford with the goal shy Aaron Wilbraham up front and a cagey affair, illuminated only by some heroics from Julian Speroni, ended goalless in normal time. Phillips had been introduced in the second half and had set up a chance for Owen Garvan but had otherwise contributed little to the game. However, when Zaha was fouled in the box by Marco Cassetti, there was only one man on the pitch qualified for such an important moment. Phillips duly stepped up and smashed his penalty into the top left corner of the net and, fifteen minutes later, Palace were once again a Premier League side.

Phillips finished his career the following season at Leicester City where he once again helped his side to Premier League promotion. 282 goals in 660 appearances, eight England caps and the only Englishman to be awarded the European Golden Shoe. Pretty good going for a man who started his career being told he was too small to play up front and ended it being called “really old AND shit” by some misguided trainee teachers.