18: Robin van Persie, Arsenal, Topps Match Attax Trading Card Game, 2009/10

In the spirit of the season Mat Jolin-Beech brings us some festive fun via the medium of a prolific Dutch striker who scored some truly wonderful goals for club and country during his career. As with many of our posts this has absolutely nothing to do with the card in question and Mat has gone back to his roots and gone all chairman of selectors again. Hopefully this goes down better than your fourth cheeseboard of the weekend.

It’s Christmas time, and ‘tis the season for some pun-derful blogging. So why should we here at a Sticker’s Worth 500 Words not jump on this festive bandwagon? A quick WhatsApp later and the puns came rolling in with Emlyn left with 718 unread messages of football related festive nonsense. Serves him right for having a social life. So here we go: a full squad and manager of Christmas crackers. (No, I won’t stop. And yes, I know this is as bad as all of the Dad jokes come 4pm and a few too many beers on the 25th.)


The first and most obvious one was the big man himself, leading the line up top. Gabriel Jesus. Who else? Alongside is one Robin van Persie. Red of chest and in red shirts. More successful in one without white sleeves. Backups on the bench are Roque Santa Cruz, St Nicolas Bendtner, Stan Hollymore, and Andy Carol. Not a bad frontline there. 

In goal, competition is also fierce, with Edwin van Der Star fighting with Tim Wiese Men and also Neville Southpole. The latter may have to be in the reserves due to a slight geographical issue. Defenders were a little harder to come by but once the fetid fluids had got flowing we were on out way. Hymn-ing Berg lines up alongside Claus Lundekvam at centre back. Backing up this alright December duo are Gareth Sproutgate who misses out on the managerial slot as he’d either get this team relegated or to a final before falling short.  Completing the back four, as we’re playing four, four, f***ing two in full on Mike Basset style, are Sleighton Baines and Nigel Winter-burn. 

Moving into the middle third of the pitch, the (turkey) meat of a team, and we’re blessed. Narrowing it down to a duo in centre midfield, we have Pavel ‘Feliz’ Nedved-ad, alongside Paul M-Ince Pie. Handwork, determination, and flair there. Their squad mates, adding to the recipe for a perfect feast, are Dennis Wise-Men, Myrrh-zy Izzet, and Mark Tinsella. On the edge of the plate, much like those decorations on your tree, are Karel Bauble-sky and Ryan Bauble. Holly March is another option. Some attacking midfielders, available should some extra flair be needed (think cranberry sauce), are Thomas Muller-Wine, Jason Yule, and Noel Whelan.

Pulling this rag tag bunch together is the managerial genius of Thomas Frank-incense narrowly pipping Ian Hollyway to the top job. The owner, who else, other than one David Gold?

Honourable mentions, and targets for the January sales include: Three Kingsley Black; Andrei Kanchelskis Deo; Mistletoe Maccarone; Thomas Mhyre; Frosty Grodas; Evander Sno; Juan Pablo Angel; Gianluca Festive; Trifle Ivanov; Tore Andre Sno; Stefan Ivy-son; and one Holly Gunnar Solskjaer.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from all of us here at A Sticker’s Worth 500 Words.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

N/A: Chris Kamara, Sheffield United, Chris Kamara’s Street Soccer, Midas Games

Image
In November 1972 the arcade game Pong made its debut and the gaming industry was born. While not the first attempt to make some computer pixels do not very much for the amusement of the masses it was by far the most commercially successful and, by the end of the decade, the first ever football game was unleashed on the world in the form of NASL Soccer. Judging by the YouTube footage it seemed to involve lots of brightly coloured stick men over hitting through balls and running in the opposite direction to oncoming forwards which may well be what the likes of Trevor Francis , Johan Cruyff and Gerd Muller were getting up to over in the US at the time. Throughout the 1980s the games became more realistic and a host of star players and managers put their names on products of variable quality. Peter Shilton’s Handball Maradona (not that he is anyway bitter about being out jumped by a midget) gave youngsters the opportunity to fulfil their goalkeeping fantasies in a range of scenarios with r...
Read more

138: Gennaro Gattuso, Italy, Topps Match Attax Trading Card Game, England Collector Binder

Image
We are finally responding to a request from the excellent Anglo Italian Pod for a post on a member of Italy’s victorious 2006 World Cup squad. Mat Jolin-Beech may have already covered Francesco Totti and missed out on the opportunity to cover Alessandro Del Piero or Marco Materazzi but there were a host of exceptional footballers he could have chosen from their inspirational captain Fabio Cannavaro to the impossibly handsome Mauro Camoranesi. This blog being what it is though Mat has decided to focus on a loveable shithouse and his time in Scotland. We hope this does the trick lads. This is the first that may end up being a series of pieces from me with the theme “I forgot they played there” and the opening salvo in this possible theme is Gennaro Gattuso. The midfield hardman is synonymous with AC Milan where, in no particular order, he claimed two Champions League titles, the Coppa Italia, two Serie A winner’s medals, two Italian Super Cups, two UEFA Super Cups, and a FIFA Club ...
Read more

298: Jordi Cruyff, Manchester United, Merlin’s Premier League 97 Official Sticker Collection, 304: Roman Pavlyuchenko, Tottenham Hotspur, Topps Match Attax Trading Card Game, 2009/10, 324: El Hadji Diouf, Liverpool, The Official Premier League Sticker Collection 2003, 10th Edition and 40: Luc Nilis, Aston Villa, Merlin’s F.A. Premier League 2001 Official Sticker Collection

Image
Well who could have predicted we’d be on the verge of yet another England appearance in a European Championships final a few weeks ago ? John Stones may not have played a single pass forward, Harry Kane may look like he’s not slept in three months and Phil Foden may have managed to hit every part of the goal frame besides the back of the net but Gareth Southgate has once again guided his charges successfully through a major international tournament. All that now stands in the way of football coming home from Berlin is a very talented Spain side who apparently have a decent history in this competition. As this summer’s feast of football comes to an end it’s time for the far more exciting and headline dominating transfer window. As clubs across Europe (and Saudi Arabia) look to solve their various dilemmas the recent European Championship has provided the continent’s finest with the perfect shop window and, unfortunately, made Fabrizio Romano busy again. Could Lamine Yamal be the ne...
Read more