A Sticker's Worth 500 Words

During a recent episode of Richard Osman’s House of Games the comedian Ivo Graham answered an obscure question about Renaissance art with the name “Massimo Taibi”. Two years ago Ivo Graham led his cricket club to a one wicket win against mine courtesy of some hastily recruited ringers from a sun-drenched London Fields basking in the aftermath of England’s 6-0 win over Panama. As the man tasked with bowling at the death and seeing Ivo’s very new mates score the winning runs I’ve held a completely unnecessary grudge against him ever since but, with two simple Italian words, all was forgiven. That’s the power of Massimo Taibi for you. In May 1999 Manchester United completed an historic treble capped off with an infamous win over Bayern Munich in the Champions League Final which was so dramatic that David May couldn’t contain his excitement. That famous night in Barcelona was also the last competitive game that the great Peter Schmeichel played for the Red Devils and he demonstrated his j...

If you’re enjoying what we’re doing then please feel free to make any requests on our Twitter or Instagram . That’s just what James Lasowski did and so this one’s for him. Without meaning to sound like Michael Owen goals are important in football. The likes of Matt Le Tissier and Tony Yeboah specialised in sensational strikes that have lived long in the memory but, ultimately, their 35-yard screamers were worth exactly the same as the tap-ins from half a yard out. With this in mind some of the great goalscorers looked to embellish their finishes with a signature celebration. The Premier League’s all-time top scorer, Alan Shearer, signed all 260 of his top-flight goals off by wheeling away with one arm aloft. Boring but effective – a bit like the man himself. However, others were more creative and influential. Fabrizio Ravanelli ’s shirt over the head added gloss to a Middlesbrough campaign that ultimately ended in relegation and convinced several out of shape lads that the world wa...

The tragic deaths of 39 people at the Heysel Stadium in 1985 had widespread repercussions. Approximately 600 Liverpool and Juventus fans were injured in the clashes and 14 Liverpool fans were convicted of manslaughter for their part in the rioting which culminated in the collapse of a concrete retaining wall. Albert Roosens, the head of the Belgian Football Association, also stood trial for his mismanagement of ticket sales for the European Cup final as well as two police chiefs for their poor handling of clashes between fans. On top of this English clubs were banned from European competitions by UEFA for five years with Liverpool served with a six-year ban. Prior to the ban Nottingham Forest , Aston Villa and Liverpool had won all but one of the European Cup finals between 1977 and 1984. In the same period Ipswich Town and Tottenham Hotspur had won the UEFA Cup and a Neville Southall inspired Everton had won the Cup Winners’ Cup in 1984. UEFA’s ban robbed several clubs of the opportu...

Today Rich Allinson takes a look at the career of a man who ticks so many boxes for us here at A Sticker’s Worth 500 Words it’s almost silly. Played for Grimsby Town? Yep. Played for Reading? Yep. Played for Crystal Palace? Yep. A little bit Welsh? Yep. Excellent 90s hair? Yep. I promise you we haven’t made this man up. Over to Rich. With the eventual outcome being relegation, you would think that the 1996/97 season for Grimsby Town would be one to forget. However, it is strangely a time that I look back on with a lot of fondness.   Buoyed by England’s glorious failure at Euro ‘96, pretty much every fan of every club went into the season thinking that this year would be ‘the one’ and singing their own iteration of Three Lions. We had just secured a club record signing of Tommy Widdrington from Southampton (presumably paid for largely by the money I spent on calling the club hotline on transfer deadline day) and Lotto had made us a snazzy Juventus rip off kit - things were looking u...

During the Fifth Test of the 2001 Ashes series, England’s no.9, Jimmy Ormond, was greeted to the crease by the Australian batsman, and captain’s brother, Mark Waugh with the question “Mate. What are you doing out here? There’s no way you’re good enough to play for England.” Ormond quickly responded “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my own family.” I’d love to say that Ormond then inspired England to victory with a swashbuckling knock but the Aussies had already smashed their hosts around the park and eventually won by an innings and 25 runs. It was England in the early 2000s, what did you expect?   The reason I refer to this is because the vast majority of professional sportspeople can always cling on to the fact that at least they’re the best at what they do in their own family ( unless that family includes George Weah of course ). This is probably true for today’s subject but, due to his fairly common name, he can’t even claim to be the best Simon Davies to play for...

Today Mat Jolin-Beech takes a look at man who speaks his mind and has forged an impressive media career after a stint in the SAS, albeit the one that won the Premier League rather than the one that frees hostages or shouts at John Fashanu on Channel 4. His forthright views do set him apart from some of his contemporaries but have also made him a fair few enemies. Over to Mat. Chris Sutton. The BBC’s most surly pundit-come-presenter. Often heard on Five Live’s Monday Night Club alongside long-suffering partner Alistair Bruce-Ball in what appears to be a hate/hate relationship. The grumpy man of football radio, at least as far as the BBC is concerned, is loved in Norfolk and the Green and White parts of Glasgow, fondly remembered in Blackburn, and probably best not mentioned to those at Stamford Bridge nor anyone in Birmingham.   Time for the Wikipedia stat attack: •          409 club games •       ...

Emlyn Jones takes us through the career of yet another Wales international with a lot of talent. Emlyn is quite dismissive of his own sporting ability in the opening paragraph but I think he’s being hard on himself. As part of an awful five-a-side team at university (featuring me and Mat Jolin-Beech) Emlyn once muscled the opposition’s star striker off the ball and topped off his calm pass back with a derisive “man up” to the complaining forward. It’s worth noting that Emlyn was wearing eyeliner and a sleeveless Brazil training top at the time. Sergio Ramos would’ve been very proud.   For many growing up turning out for your favourite team is the subject of many daydreams and as a kid I was no different. Sadly, although watching Wales play in the 90s made it closer than it should have been, I've never had anywhere near the ability to play football professionally. Or any sport, for that matter. And yet some players blessed with the ability to play at the top level just aren't...

As you may have noticed several of our posts have focused on players who have had something of an impact on all of our contributors’ lives through their misfortune of playing for Crystal Palace, Grimsby Town or Reading. Some have also played for Manchester United but that might have involved some actual achievement. For today we step off the pitch and into the dugout for a look at Ian Holloway from two perspectives in a collaborative post from myself and Richard Allinson. Let’s see how this goes.   In October 2012 Dougie Freedman broke my heart. The Crystal Palace legend had led the club to fourth position in the Championship on the back of an eleven match unbeaten run playing attractive attacking football but had decided that the bright lights of Bolton Wanderers offered more appealing career and promotion prospects. They didn’t. Bolton finished just outside the play-off places and two years later Dougie was out of a job. It’s ok, all is forgiven, and he’s now the Director of Foot...

Bastards hold a special place in our history. From William the Conqueror to Eva Peron via every senior officer in the Napoleonic Wars according to Sean Bean’s portrayal of Sharpe, they have shaped the world around them and held a strange mystique owing to their supposedly scandalous parentage. Their mysterious backgrounds have provided dramatic devices for several writers. After all, how would Game of Thrones work without Jon Snow? And yes, I do know he’s not actually technically a bastard and if that’s a spoiler for you then you probably don’t actually care anyway. Whilst the term bastard has been an insult for millennia there are some who truly own the moniker which brings us to today’s subject, a man dubbed by some as ‘The Bastard’s Bastard’, Sergio Ramos. Ramos boasts one of the most impressive CVs in world football: five La Liga titles, four Champions Leagues, two European Championships and one World Cup not to mention a whole host of other club trophies. He is the most capped Sp...