A Sticker's Worth 500 Words

Earlier this month everyone’s favourite bitey racist Uruguayan striker received a six-match ban for spitting at Gene Ramirez, Seattle Sounders’ director of security, following an altercation with Obed Vargas. Luis Suarez did apologise via Instagram, which of course makes everything alright, and Inter Miami have thankfully had the common sense not to send their players out in supportive t-shirts in their subsequent MLS fixtures. The latest of Suarez’s crimes against decency led to me asking my fellow bloggers if he was the “single most hateable footballer of all time” (which makes a far less accessible acronym than ‘ GOAT ’). While there was some general agreement our Rich took the opportunity to mention Suarez’s Inter Miami teammate with a penchant for tax evasion, humility and nausea inducing levels of hyperbole surrounding his ability. Moreover Suarez had at least “done it” on a cold Sunday afternoon in Stoke. If I had been posed the same question twenty to thirty years ago I would h...

Mat Jolin-Beech today looks to spare us all the tedium of an international break with a look back at some pre-season misadventures. An online wag summarised the suffering of football fans the other day by observing that such was the malaise during England’s insipid win over the mighty Andorra that commentators Sam Matterface and Lee Dixon winded up talking about Coldplay instead. Hopefully Mat, a missed plane and some salad cream will sort that out. (Thanks to all of those on BlueSky who pointed out that the Targett story was a spoof. We live and learn. And why let the truth get in the way of a funny story?) Pre-season. It’s the time where there is (mostly) excitement and optimism coursing through fans veins. It’ll be our year [TM all Arsenal fans]. The players are putting in the hard yards and training until they’re sick. Running over sand dunes, working on the latest manager’s tactics, or eyeing that dream transfer to a club they’ve long admired – ever since the tabloids published ...