A Sticker's Worth 500 Words

Richard Allinson is at the helm today for an incredible story which highlights how much some footballers go through before they come to our attention. Football has the awesome power to provide opportunities to people from all backgrounds and today’s subject overcame a truly traumatic childhood in order to lace up his boots for the first time. The fact he’s still going and giving back so much doesn’t exactly do much for the overpaid and pampered tag that so many people seem to want to attach to footballers whenever possible. Rich warned me when he sent this over that we might need to rename this post “A Sticker’s Worth A Dissertation”. It’s fair to say that even 10,000 words wouldn’t be enough. Over to Rich. The other day, whilst I was at work, out of nowhere my brain suddenly posed the question “I wonder what Nii Lamptey is up to nowadays?” This took me aback somewhat as, no offence to Mr Lamptey, I haven’t given him a second thought since about 1996. Anyway, not wanting to leave my s...

A year ago today I wrote and posted around 500 words about Peter Fear in an attempt to provide some mental stimulation in the first of what proved to be a series of Covid-19 lockdowns. Twelve months and 146 posts later A Sticker’s Worth 500 Words has grown into something much bigger and much more fun than I could ever have expected thanks to three of my best friends, the overwhelmingly positive nature of a lot of football Twitter and Instagram users and the genuinely unbelievable fact that some of the stars we’ve written about have liked , retweeted and followed the nonsense we’ve come out with. A special thanks has to go to my wife who has willingly listened to me read every single post aloud whilst growing and looking after another human. Well, looking after two humans if I qualify. With all this in mind it was a tough choice for who should feature in this anniversary post but it’s fair to say this man ticks a lot of the Sticker 500 boxes. For starters he is sporting some decent...

After nine consecutive seasons of seeing arch-rivals Celtic triumph in the Scottish Premier League Rangers have finally broken the Bhoys’ streak. It’s not been an easy ride as the club has had to endure financial turmoil, expulsion from the top flight and a less than straightforward journey back up the league pyramid. Steven Gerrard finally getting his hands on a league championship has not only ended Celtic’s decade of domination but also brought Champions League football back to the blue side of Glasgow for the first time since 2011. That being said the Champions League has hardly been the happiest of hunting grounds for the Gers since the tournament was rebranded ahead of the 1992/93 season. In their sixteen appearances in Europe’s premier club competition they have managed to make it past the group stage just once back in 2006 when they exited the tournament on away goals at the hands of Villarreal in the second round. To be fair to Rangers they also made it to the final of the UEF...

Today Richard Allinson takes a look at a man who played in so many positions he probably had to keep some in his aunt’s house. As you will see versatility can be a blessing and a curse and its testament to today’s subject that he proved to actually be quite good wherever his managers decided to play him. He does lose a few marks for not taking a turn in goal , especially when he was at Crystal Palace and anything would have been better than Kevin Miller . But I digress. Over to Rich. As a Grimsby Town fan, you get used to managers extolling the virtues of signing a ‘utility’ player. “He can play anywhere across the back! We can move him into midfield if that is how we want to set up! We brought him in because he’s equally capable in a number of positions!” What these managers have always omitted from their exclamations is that their latest signing is equally crap in a number of positions. However, there are some footballers out there that genuinely have the ablity to play in more than ...

“I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips, straining upon the start. The game’s afoot; follow your spirit, and upon this charge cry ‘God for Harry, England and Saint George!” Shakespeare’s Henry V said this to his armies ahead of the decisive Battle of Agincourt in The Hundred Years War and many a proud patriot has turned to the words of the ‘Once more unto the breach’ soliloquy whenever England has been on the verge of glorious victory. There are a few problems here however. Henry V’s incredible military successes were undone when he carelessly died of dysentery and passed the throne to his infant son in 1422. It’s highly unlikely he said anything of the sort to his troops at Agincourt as it was absolutely pissing it down and Shakespeare’s versions of all of the Lancastrian kings were all over exaggerated ideals to suit the purposes of Tudor propaganda. Even The Hundred Years War took 116 years to come to an end. And now I’ve taken a metaphorical dump on the work of the Immortal B...

Back in April 2020 I introduced Richard Allinson’s second post for this blog (on the excellent Dave Beasant ) with a reference to today’s subject. Eleven months, and 130 posts, later we return to the Norwegian shot stopper who simultaneously further cemented a friendship and ensured we’d always wait that little bit longer to be served in the EDT. Over to Rich. “FRODE GRODÅS!” 10 pints of Adnams’ Ghost Ship down and A Sticker’s Worth 500 Words founder Manny Hawks finally remembered the name of Chelsea’s reserve goalkeeper from 1997. Whether the rest of the punters in the East Dulwich Tavern that winter’s evening in 2011 were quite expecting this Scandinavian outburst is debatable. However, just in case any of them are reading now, let me explain why it was such a joyous exclamation.  Manny and I had met for a “quick pint” to discuss how my new job was going. After quickly realising that neither of us really cared about that subject, we got on to talking about the greatest of men: go...

“Pele is king of the soccer field. To be king of your kitchen, use Crestfield wax paper.” When the Brazilian forward born Edson Arantes do Nascimento appeared in The Simpsons ahead of the critical clash between Mexico and Portugal it was clear that even the creators of everyone’s favourite yellow family knew that Pele was prone to a bold endorsement. I’m not even going to get started on the erectile dysfunction adverts apart from to quote the man himself and say “there are some things you don’t discuss in the dressing room”.  As well as the innumerable sponsorship deals that have seen the Brazilian goal machine sing the praises of everyone from Subway to Volkswagen Pele has also been keen to provide his backing to a whole host of teams and footballers over the years. If his predictions had come true then Colombia would have won the World Cup in 1994, Nii Lamptey would have been proclaimed ‘the new Pele’ and Nick Barmby would be revered as “the English Roberto Baggio ”. Instead Col...

Richard Allinson has a look at a striker with a record so impressive it’s no surprise that his spell at Liverpool resulted in them collecting more silver than Buckingham Palace. Back in 2014 Rich and I were relaxing ahead of the Reading Half Marathon by channel hopping in our Ibis hotel room when we stumbled across Russia Today and several men who clearly based their sartorial approach on today’s subject. Cue several hours of bad renditions of the Anfield Rap and less sleep than either of us probably required. Cushty la! Over to Rich. “Hey, f**k off you. F**k off, you’re a t**t. You dickhead. Yeah, you know as well... f**k off.”  As far as reasoned arguments go, John Aldridge’s conversation with the FIFA touchline officials at USA ‘94 is right up there. In Aldo’s defence, the FIFA representatives did act like a right bunch of bellends when they wouldn’t allow him on the pitch against Mexico and let’s face it, most people would have probably reacted in exactly the same way. However,...

At the end of this month ‘A Sticker’s Worth 500 Words’ will be a year old. I think all four of us are pleasantly surprised that we’re still doing this but when you remember that the majority of that year has been spent in some form of lockdown, tier system or national emergency it’s slightly less surprising that we’re still finding the time and inspiration to write about some blokes who used to kick a football about. Nevertheless it’s always helpful when someone chucks us a request so thanks to Dom Alexander for suggesting a look at “the finest striker in the whole of East Anglia”. Apologies to Marcus Stewart – you’re not getting a second post. Being treated with affection by your own fans is one thing. The tribal nature of football means that even the most questionable of players is given half a chance by their home supporters before being subjected to a barrage of abuse about their former employers, physical stature or inability to pick up their man at a set piece. Such niceties are...