A Sticker's Worth 500 Words

Mat Jolin-Beech steps away from his usual hunting ground of the Old Trafford circus to head south to the, arguably, even more farcical scenes taking place in South West London since the arrival of Todd Boehly. In the past two years the American’s approach to the Premier League has seen six different men in the dugout, a squad the size of a small principality and less than desirable twelfth and sixth placed finishes. Then again he might just be carrying on some Chelsea traditions. Over to Mat. On the back of Chelsea offering England penalty ice man Cole Palmer a new, nine (yes, nine) year, contract the suspicions of the Blues kicking the FFP can down the line began bubbling. Then you consider that this summer they have spent [at the time of writing] £185.4m on ten players – with more expected. Twenty players have left, leaving them with a squad of 43. This is a legitimate 43 as well, not one made up of under 15s who have had a decent twenty minutes in a training game against the over 55

Long before the 1863 Laws of the Game were codified by the newly formed Football Association the various versions of the sport played all had a few things in common. The basic aim of the game, as highlighted by the genius punditry of Michael Owen , was to kick a ball in a certain place more often than your opponent. While some versions were more liberal about how the ball was moved about the general consensus was that it should be kicked. Moreover even the early games of ‘mob football’ involving entire villages, inflated pigs bladders and extreme violence were clearly carried out as team games. The fact that football is about two groups of eleven players trying to get the better of each other seems to be forgotten by some fans who seem more engrossed in the career of individuals rather than the fortunes of their local or familial club. Supporters of Argentina’s most talented tax evader could hide behind a veneer of following Barcelona until his recent moves to Paris Saint-Germain and

Mat Jolin-Beech addresses the elephant in the FA’s room at the moment with a look at some of the runners and riders for the vacant England men’s team job. Our subject did great things in South East London once upon a time and, as an aside, his brother has been manager of The Who since the 1970s so clearly has the necessary skills to deal with rockstar attitudes. Over to Mat to plead his case. Now the dust has settled on another England failure, although getting to the Euro 2024 finals and being beaten by a promising and already good Spain team, the Three Lions are looking for a new manager. Gareth Southgate , for all the hate he received, did a decent job with the national team. Two finals, a semi-final and a quarter. Not bad for a national that failed to qualify for the Euros only back in 2008 . Yes, he probably should have been more adventurous with his tactics, style, and substitutions. Yes, the football was the most turgid and stodgy thing I have seen in a long, long time, and rem

Football as we know and love it is back. Gone is the unity of major international tournaments in place of nine months of social media beef and screaming obscenities at that bloke you professed your undying love for in the summer. The optimism you may have, briefly, experienced as Ollie Watkins crashed his shot past Bart Verbruggen can now be put aside for the misery of a barren run in the winter months or a humiliating FA Cup exit. Moreover the men in the middle come back under the microscope after a summer of almost frightening levels of competence. Despite spending my formative years suggesting that the nation’s referees enjoyed a bit too much extracurricular self-love there were very few who stood out as individuals. As a Football Italia obsessive I recognised the imperious Pierluigi Collina and enjoyed the flourishes of John Toro Rendon, whom we imaginatively nicknamed ‘The Colombian Ref’ in the primary school playground , at France ’98 but the vast majority of the men in black we

Mat Jolin-Beech today looks at the managerial merry-go-round which is oiled and ready to go ahead of a new season through the lens of an underused Belgian defender who played three times as many games as one of his managers oversaw in the 2004/05 campaign. His club career saw him play in his native Belgium, the Netherlands, England, Germany and the USA before retirement in 2021 but he is yet to throw his hat into the management ring. He is, however, bald, bearded and European so watch this space should your club make an early personnel change. Over to Mat. The Euros are over , it still isn’t coming home, and pre-season is already underway. This is the time when hopes and dreams build for your team. The optimism for the new campaign takes root and begins to grow. It is a new season, and with it comes new hope. There also comes new kits at £200 a pop, new ticket prices, always up, never down, and the hope of new signings that will lead your boys to glory. For some, there are new manage

Well who could have predicted we’d be on the verge of yet another England appearance in a European Championships final a few weeks ago ? John Stones may not have played a single pass forward, Harry Kane may look like he’s not slept in three months and Phil Foden may have managed to hit every part of the goal frame besides the back of the net but Gareth Southgate has once again guided his charges successfully through a major international tournament. All that now stands in the way of football coming home from Berlin is a very talented Spain side who apparently have a decent history in this competition. As this summer’s feast of football comes to an end it’s time for the far more exciting and headline dominating transfer window. As clubs across Europe (and Saudi Arabia) look to solve their various dilemmas the recent European Championship has provided the continent’s finest with the perfect shop window and, unfortunately, made Fabrizio Romano busy again. Could Lamine Yamal be the ne